An Instant that ReShatters a Soul

I have to blog this. But Its not going to be easy. You will understand when you read, I know.

A lovely girl, no a woman. A mother, a helper. Someone dressed nicely who appears calm, confident, in control. She waits with an elderly couple whom she is assisting for the day. In a hospital. When a person, no sorry, a monster - walks in the door, not one metre from her and hurries upon its way..
without even seeing the woman.

The woman looks collected, she looks whole, she looks normal - but inside, where delicate strands of healing had formed to encompass those in great pain - that instant, reshatters their soul.

Our Grandparents are elderly, our Grandmother lives in nursing care now. But we still need to take her manually to the Hospital for her appointments. Its always an ordeal ~ she is the loveliest woman I ever knew, but she has almost no muscle strength, and getting her in and out of cars and wheelchairs etc is difficult ~ but we laugh and enjoy it ~ though for her it must hurt sometimes.. to have a GrandDaughter toilet you, (just last year, before we found the nursing care place, we (my mother and I) did everything for her, shower, toilet, help feed etc.)

I would do anything for her and almost anything for my Grandfather (I apologise to those of you whose abuser was a grandparent.) He is a tad more selfish and controlling, but he was never in any way abusive. They were our lifeline, her sanity, the only place that she could ever feel like she could take a breath safely. They were strict and old-fashioned. But we were always safe to sleep in the bed at their house. Although, as we got older, I was allowed less and less.

A thing we hated forever has now become a thing that saved us yesterday. The thing, the UnPerson (because we cannot call him anything else right now) is a very hell-bent, one-tracked, obsessive person. So when it entered the hospital doors, it went straight down the hall to its destination, no side track, no looking around. The only people standing anywhere - was a woman with her Grandparents.

We kept it together, until we could fall apart - late last night. And after this post. We will put it all away.

What are the chances really? In this wide world, on an average day? When you have not seen this thing for years? What are the chances?

Everyone is numb and silent today. I, Sam, am worried. What happens when the numb wears off and the feelings set it. Shattered Soul.