Maybe it doesnt matter

Do you really think that what we say or do or ramble on about matters?

I wonder really. Who cares how we live our lives... who gets to judge? Why aren't we happy if nobody really can judge? Is it all about our conscience? Is that what judges us harshly each and every day? Is that what punishes us with rude comments and mean gestures and unloving behaviour? I know we punish us all the time. So do others.

Who are we living this stupid life for anyway? Does it get any better? So frigging what if we survived hell on earth as a 2 year old, if we have to carry the f((&*^*&^ weight of it around for the rest of our bloody lives.

I am in a shitty, satyrical mood today and unimpressed with life in general. Great way to start a new year. But who cares really. The last million years of life have sucked... why would this one be any better?

Sure they look great on top, and there are moments that almost reach joyousness - but it's all superficial really. Cause just under the surface is a smouldering pustule of hate and regret and pain and suffering and a whole bunch of people unable to get away from any of it. They just sit suspended in filth and punishment and retribution - of what - ? of being born. That's f((*** what. That's their crime. They were god-damn born. To wish away your very life existence - the very fabric of your being.

That's harsh. But it's our reality isn't it people, and in my opinion is probably many many peoples reality. Not just us multi people's.

Well congrats on the new year everyone. Hope it suxs less than last year for you, I have no such hope. But I do hope to lose a dress size (blah... how funny) and buy a pair of bright red shoes...

Classic Hoarder

Here is a question to ponder:

Do alot of DID's hoard everything? Or just us?

We are moving house soon ~ and I feel that we carry so much from place to place - a double garage full of stuff never touched since last move 18 months ago. Although it is all packed neatly in boxes ~ better than just thrown on the ground.

But the problem is it's a collection of 30 or more people's lives.

My partner is helping me clean things out and decide to keep some, sell some, and throw the garbage stuff out. He is doing really great - he helps organise the stuff once i have assigned it a pile and he keeps constant watch (like a hovering bird) and pulls me back to reality as soon as he sees the signs of switching ~ or he hugs the alter who pops out in connection to their stuff.

He is amazing. Truly. Its a long and stressful job. But "I" feel it's a good idea. Its healing. Its also annoying that I cant just throw it all out since none of it is mine. But we don't want to upset people now do we.

Tell me is Hoarding a classic commonality for us all?


We need one of these:

Full of those little basket things, one per person. Lol... If we were a millionaire..We have compartments everywhere!